Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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