I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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