Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its liver damage thursday
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
