Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
