I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
