Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
