Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
