Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
