just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
