He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
