hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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