Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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