I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize