Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You smell like stripper and shame
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
