Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
