We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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