Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
