We won't sleep together?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
