And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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