I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
