So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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