Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you inspire me to be a worse person
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
