I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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