I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
