i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
