I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
