That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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