i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
