So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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