i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
