his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
