I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she smelled like a LAN party
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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