He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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