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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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