I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she looked like the before picture.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
