check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
