Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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