You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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