on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
