speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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