Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
