If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
