i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So squirting runs in the family.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize