If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize