Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
