Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
