just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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