i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
