bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
