The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i've created a new STD.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
