foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
