Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
