And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
