Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
