Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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