she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
