there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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