If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
