I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
