Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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