There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
