I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
