well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
