I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
they're like a gay fantastic four
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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