That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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