Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
