do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i will never coherently bang her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
