One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
