He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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