you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
